I work in one of the more stressful industries, that aren’t manual labour: electronics retail; and today was my first day back to work after vacation. What can I say about it? Well, instantly the pressures I left behind me returned… But i suppose that’s par for the course.
I suppose though that the most interesting part of today was coming home. Yes, there’s a lot of projects awaiting me here too, but now they don’t seem so burdensome, so desperately crucial, so heavy. I guess it could be related to taking up the mantle at work again, and the home stuff just not seeming as hard to accomplish… I don’t know. Either way it’s good.
It’s just plain nice to come home to home, with all its foibles as they are, and bbq up a couple steaks for supper with your wife, in preparation for the evening, be it what it may.
I wrote in a post earlier this week, that I had an opening line for a poem that I had used badly in the past. I think this will suit it much better; and that, I can call this one done.
The fire on a moonlit night,
sang out to the open sea
For where or not, at all is known
none but you and me.
The fire on a moonlit night,
sang out to the open sea
This day of clouds, white and gray
for none at all but me.
Well, if nothing else, it has been a very up and down week. I return to work once again on the morrow, back to the grind and all that I needed a vacation from. It is a daunting thought. But one I think I need. A vacation from home almost. Though I know quite well that given some more time I’d be comfortable at home and get some more things done.
As I sit here, my wife is putting away the groceries and we are going over the meal plan in part for next week. Feels like a typical sunday afternoon to me. Prep for the new week, lament over what didn’t get done last week.
One of the tasks that she took on this week was painting our spare room. I, sadly, was completely out of it with stress, and wasn’t able to help her with it. 2 coats of primer and 1 of paint later, we still need to do another coat. I guess I will have to take that on tomorrow afternoon when I get home. After all, if it doesn’t happen soon, it just won’t.
That brings up another bundle of thoughts. The rest of the plan for this week. How much do I plan out? I am thinking it easy to fill every night and morning with something to do; and now it’s on my mind, there are a bunch of small tasks that need completing before Thursday when we have the Electrician over.
Bah there’s never an end. Often vacation serves to add more projects to the list of those that might never see completion. And that, is stressful in and of itself.
So I ask myself, what did I get out of this vacation? At first, I am uncertain how to sum it up. Yet now, I can say, it was just a change of pace.
I started this the other night while I was sitting out here on my deck, being relaxed, and enjoying the evening atmosphere. Tonight I am doing the same, although with a bit more fire around me. 🙂 I picked up a tabletop fire pit at the hardware store the other day. A small thing, with lava rocks on top that runs on propane. But it’s nice to have out here. It’s nothing great for light; but it does wonders for ambience. And I suppose, I could roast a marshmallow or two on it if I wanted. Heh.
But that’s not what I’m up to this evening. My wife is inside, raiding her heart out with our fellow Guild-mates on World of Warcraft. I drew the Standby lot this evening, what with our declining attendance due to that inclement weather that is summer. Par for the course, really, but it can be frustrating at times. Then again, it could be a blessing in disguise. We have so much work to do around the house this week that, despite being on vacation, our schedule is as busy as ever. It gets ignored a lot, but it’s still packed with things that SHOULD get done. 😛
The next few days, I think will involve me getting out of the house a little more. Not necessarily in spending more time on the deck with tablet and keyboard, much as I would like to; but more, walking the dog, or going out and just doing something that doesn’t involve being inside. I have no idea what that would be yet, but…it needs to happen. Either that, or I have to get my act together and start working on some of the house stuff. I realize that those aren’t mutually exclusive; I’m just not of a mindset to admit that I need to do both right now.
More ramblings. I’m not making a whole lot of sense, and I’m aware that my writing in this post is haphazzard at best; sorry. I’m just kind of writing down things as they go through my head, and that can be scary at times. For one, there are more things flying through my head than I can hope to write down before they leave. 🙂 “A thousand thoughts and dreams, with hopes on wings…” A line I’ve used in prose a few times during idle thought…though I can’t say that I recall ever specifically recording it in any one piece. Perhaps in something on Facebook.
The Fire on a moonlit night, sang out to the open sea… … Another line that I came across when goingn through old writing. I used it to write a poem, very badly once. The opening line in and of itself is great; but the rest of what I wrote is crap. I’ll reuse this at some point to write something better. Just have to figure out what. I need to wait for the inspiration to hit me.
So, 5 days into vacation, with 4 left to go…and I feel like I’ve accomplished next to nothing. Worse than that, I’m feeling stressed, and I shouldn’t be. It’s going to be another late night I’m afraid. Though perhaps this time, instead of spending the wee hours of the morning gathering materials in WoW, I’ll go for a late night walk. It’s been a long time since I’ve done that; and tonight’s weather is rather ripe for it…even if there is too much cloud cover to see many / any stars. Still, I need to do something about this knot of emotion in my chest. What the hell is it?
Ignore it for now. That question leads to panicking about it…and that is scary; very scary.
And all of that said, my post about lantern light at night, sitting on the deck while enjoying a relaxing evening just went completely south. I’m going to have to rewrite this, or start anew on a similar topic another day. This one’s up. I need to walk.[Top]
Thw wife and I are on vacation for a week. We arent doing anything spectacular. No trip to the Bahamas or somewhere interesting. At best we may end up going camping; which I really enjoy, though my back doesn’t. 🙂
No, this week is about not being at work; being at home while we enjoy our little hovel with the amenities such as they are. Also, there will likely be a few projects tackled. We still have some renovations that, while basically done aren’t truly complete. She has some designs on getting those closer to complete. No surprise. This is often the case.
In all, it should be a good week no matter what ends up happening. Right now we are out shopping for some new summer clothes… Thats gonna hurt come time to pay for it.
There are many times when I find pieces such as this in my library that, I wonder when I wrote them, and where I was. What was I doing? What was going on in my life. I, of course, so often don’t remember the specifics; and often enough, as with this piece, I can’t piece it together at all. Still, on its own, it has a certain something. I hope you enjoy it.
It is such a day as I would find
A million things to amuse my mind
A million ways to see the day
A million people see as I say
No one way seen
As each seen differs
The day is good
It opens doors
And lays down paths
To be traveled a million ways
More than one.
For I fair not weather not heat not rain
I see no end, no beginning, but pain
It is you see for seven and three
A place of old in future fortold.
Gah! Have you ever had those decisions to make? You know, the ones that have your gut wrenching, and you can’t think about anything else? The ones where no matter what choice you make, you’re going to lose something? The ones that are a critical, irreversible, unavoidable fork in the road? Oh, and by the way, there’s a boulder rolling along at breakneck speed behind you, so hurry up and make your choice…? Those ones. Ever had those?
I am faced with that on a number of different planes right now, and I don’t enjoy it one bloody bit. Oh the possibilities are attractive. No matter what way I go there are potential positives… I oft think there always are. I must, however, weigh the negatives. Which are the heaviest? Which can I bear to carry on my shoulders?
And most, I will admit, revolve around my current work situation.
I have recently been promoted to a new position, and am on many days enjoying it greatly. Then, there are these other days. The days where I can’t think straight; can’t work up the motivation to do the many multitudes of things that are asked of me. Those days, suck. And it is always on these days that I wonder “is this the right job for me?” Even now as I sit here and write this, I don’t have an answer to that question. Sure my job has kept me employed these many years, and there are a great deal of positive aspects to it. Then, there are these others… Those reasons that often push people out of their job and in search of a new one. Pressure from up above, from the competition, internal and external. The pressure to succeed and do it well. And the concern of what will happen if success is not obtained.
They say this job isn’t for the faint of heart, and that it requires that special person to success at it. Yet we are always in search of those people. We never seem to find them. At the end of the day, we are left with the people we have, who will do what they will and so often that isn’t what we want.
I suppose that at this point I am just ranting, and should move on to other tasks and subjects. So be it. This will just have to sit on the shelf for now.[Top]
I came across this one while searching for The Difference this morning. Pretty simple, but it makes a point. One I try to keep in mind as oft I can.
All is one
And one is all
Cometh forth to meet the day
For only you can make your way
It is insane, how much attention becomes something to obsess over. I’ve had this site up for less than 24 hours, and I already find myself pondering over the next thing I should be putting up here. Not because I want to, nor necessarily because I should. I’m not a dedicated writer by any means. In fact, I tend more to jot down things here and there, and once in a while I finish a piece, albeit usually a short one.
No, I find that I am drawn to adding more and more content because people so far have paid attention to it. Far faster, and by far more people than I expected. (Yup, 10 more than expected. I expected 0.) 🙂
So where do I go from here? Do I keep adding stuff, dredging up old content that I’ve written in years gone by, or jotting down all my thoughts on to this site in the hopes of more “likes” and “follows”? Perhaps. I still, honestly, am unsure where this is going. I have a great many scribbles and such that I could drop here. Old photos that I took, projects that I did. All that kind of stuff. Even more little snippets than I’ve put up here so far.
I can pull content from other sites, and add my comments here for anyone to read; though that feels like cheap content to me. But it will happen in all likelihood.
And then there’s the design. Every time I log in and look at the appearance of the site…I want to tweak it. I get the feeling that, given a little time, I’m going to have to get my hands dirty and add some scrollwork to that shelf, lest it sit there and simply be plain planks nailed together…